Hi, diary. I am still thinking about what I said before. The thoughts are miserable, but I need to think about them. It's like what I said about when you put down a sad book halfway through. I can't stop thinking because I will keep wanting to know, so I'll think about it until I know.
I wonder if my feelings that I want to be peaceful are causing me trouble. If I didn't want things to always be nice maybe I wouldn't be scared and sad a lot. And then I would stop being angry about not wanting to think bad things too.
I don't like it though!! I just don't like it and I can't stop that. If I want to make myself be this way I'll have to be sad a lot in the meantime because right now it hurts to think about, and I'm scared of doing that. But maybe it's really like they said, if I keep doing it it will get easier. I just don't know!!
I wish everyone was nice so I wouldn't have to choose!! I hate this! And I still hate that I hate it!
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I cried when I read this :( Mir... she reminds me of me, but she's so innocent and pure... When I was little, people always told me stories about how Mir was bad and killed people... How could this happen?
Now I can't stop crying ><;;; I feel so horrible...
-Bonna
Indeed; the fact that she ended up committing the crimes she did is entirely, from what we can tell, the fault of humans. She never wished to be cruel, but she was placed in an environment purposely desired to engineer cruelty into her. It must have been stifling.
She did certainly do some terrible things. The greatest tragedy of all, perhaps, is how little she wanted to be like that.
I'm sure she would appreciate your sympathies greatly, if she knew. Sorry the things you read here upset you; we tried to disclaimer as best we could.
Nah, it's okay... I'm feeling better now :) Looks like the people were kinda desperate, to do that... I guess people will do bad things if they're between a rock and a hard place. ><;;
It's all because of a war... I hope that there are never anymore wars, so that something like this'll never happen again... Wishful thinking, huh? ^^;;
-Bonna
Wishful, perhaps, but it's the kind of attitude we need, I think. As long as we don't fall into the trap that Mir did, of committing more atrocities in the name of bringing wars to an end...
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