Hi, diary. The humans gave me some different things to watch today because I was so scared before. They aren't as scary as what I had before so I think I can manage it, but I still don't want to. I'm only going to do it if they say I have to. The rest of the time I will make songs and write things about Reyvateilia and maybe then I will feel better.
They said if I didn't have any ideas for songs that I should make some about what I saw in the stories but I won't do it!! I never want to make songs like that. I love the way I felt when I wrote my song that was so light and beautiful. I will use my songs to make a better world, not a painful world so that other Reyvateils are treated badly! Besides I don't even want to think about the things I saw, and if I have to think about them enough to make a song I will just feel sick. And then I will NEVER EVER get it out of my head. No way!!
This makes me so angry and I don't like that. I don't want to think bad things OR be angry about thinking bad things. Also I don't want to be angry about being angry but I don't know how to stop. No matter how I think, I have to feel bad about something. I don't want these emotions, I just want to be peaceful.
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